To Christian parents,
Generally speaking, many young adults today are in a desperate struggle to hang on to their faith in Christ. The options they’re being presented with in their families often act as a counter to, rather than an affirmer of genuine faith. What’s going on? Here are a few scenarios that may help explain why the 18s to 30s, in Christian contexts, are drifting away.
Some parents are the super spiritual – head in the clouds – automatic pilot types. These parents tell their kids, “God’s going to take care of everything, just leave it all to God.” Problem: this just doesn’t happen and there are many struggles of unanswered prayer and false expectations that eventually can turn into attempts to blackmail God.
Other parents are the hyper orthodox types. Parents like this have told their children that mom and dad believe all the right stuff. It goes something like this. “We’ve got the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.” Not a shadow of doubt or turning – not a question without an answer for these folks. Problem: their answers don’t hold up to the serious scrutiny of the children – most of the time, because parents haven’t really thought through or asked really tough questions about their own faith.
Lastly, there are the parents who are the legalistic types. These parents want to follow the law and shun anything to do with the “world” - culture. They’re constantly bringing up the do’s and don’ts as if this is all that matters. Lots of dumping of guilt and shame on children takes place here, with the aim to get them to do what mom and dad want them to be doing. Problem: legalistic parents lead those they love towards death and children are picking up on this with lightening speed. This usually results in them searching for life elsewhere.
After the “my parents told me so,” begins to fray at the edges, it is barely a blink of the eye before it comes completely apart. Reactions begin to include: “None of this Christian stuff means anything to me and I have no idea why I should believe it anyway.” Children start to want heads on the ground, no spiritual input, to embrace absolute shadows against the no shadows, and to do whatever they want in order to avoid the legalist. These are just some of the responses that arise and harden into a type of cynicism that becomes ingrained, which makes it difficult to find a way through when talking to younger people.
I’m not saying parents are entirely to blame or solely responsible for the current drift, but those who hold to any of the three scenarios above do play a bigger part in it than they may realize.
