The “all’s” or “nothing’s” (like: we have total or no control of our lives) are illusions. Both require deep levels of pretending. We demand it all, and when we don’t get it, we embrace nothing. When tenacious attempts to have closure and completeness fail, we fall again and again into the void. Yet, and the point is, we’re just not the kinds of selves that can attain or be resigned to either of these fantasies. What is true and full of life is most frequently found somewhere in the middle, not on an extreme or pole. Thus, figuring things out is far from a done deal. Admitting this puts us in a position where the real work begins concerning how to be and how to live in a complex world.