Misrecognizing that there will always be a relation and distinction between self and other leads to inappropriate ways of connecting that both demand too much, and expect too little. Self and other deserve to be ‘mutually recognized’ as having worth and value, which is to result in developing a finely tuned dialogical interaction between them. But when self or other is the sole referent for life or no referent at all – each becomes artificially constituted in a double misrecognition – neither should be perceived in such roles. Since it is always tempting to ignore the complex tension of relation and distinction it will be ‘hard work’ to avoid false characterizations of who we are and thus to reject the liabilities of forcing self to be other or other to be self. Yet, work it out we must, though as we do so let it be in a careful and compassionate manner, delicately balanced on the tight rope of trust and suspicion.